


Prelude: In The End

by NightFire



Series: Bridge Suite [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: End of game spoilers, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Non-Canonical Character Death, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 01:00:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3509282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightFire/pseuds/NightFire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sad little one-shot about Solas thinking about his relationship with Lavellan as if she had died in the final battle against Corypheus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prelude: In The End

Fen’Harel is used to betrayal. He recognizes the bitter taste of grief and regret. He knows pain and loss like old friends. And through it all he has learned to continue on without it dragging him down. It is the loneliness and dread that his memories bring him this time that scares him. The memory of her clings to his dreams, reliving his happiest moments tainted in deceit. He had built himself a lie and got lost in it for her. It had all seemed so easy at first; to simply join her quest and in the end retrieve his foci. He called himself Solas, constructing the façade of a scholar mage seeking more information about the breach in the sky. The game was even fun at first. He would slip simple clues into conversations, and laugh to himself as it went over the heads of his comrades. But the longer he stayed the more attached he became. Her boundless curiosity and simple kindness made her endearing in a way he had not encountered for a long time. Solas convinced himself in the beginning it was just his loneliness making him want to get closer to her, yet when he was sure she was dead he knew his emotions had fast become more than just friendship. However it wasn’t until she kissed him that he knew he was done for. After the start of their relationship Solas let himself simply be swept along in the dance. Following her lead and slipping in and out of her melody as the darker notes of the song. Everyday loosing more and more of his old self to the charade of being Solas. He would freely admit that she was the best thing that had happened to him in his long life. It was seeing Mythal again that shattered his mask however and reminded him of his task. He was not Solas. He was the Betrayer, The Dread Wolf, He Who Hunts Alone. All of which meant he did not deserve her love or even her respect. So he ended it. Apologized for distracting her from her cause, and walked away pretending not to hear her pleading for him to not leave, that she loved him. She avoided him after that. Skirting around the rotunda, and resolutely staring past him when they met by chance in the halls of Skyhold. Dorian had to tell him he was part of the group going to the final battle, though he lacked any of his usual cheer and glared at Fen’Harel when he thought the elf wasn‘t looking. In the end though it was all his fault. His foci had caused the breach and gave her the mark on her hand that let her close it. His foci that gave the enemy Corypheus his power and linked her to his downfall. And so his fault the destruction of the foci doomed everything linked to it. The breach, Corypheus, and her. As she lay in his arms fading away, she smiled and told him she loved him no matter what, and what they had had together was real. He told her he was sorry and that he loved her as well, but he couldn’t tell if she heard him. He hadn’t meant for it to get this far. Hadn’t meant to almost start the apocalypse. Hadn’t meant to create a hero to stop it. Hadn’t meant to fall in love. Hadn’t meant to be left with nothing but memories

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as a writing response for orchestra concerning the first movement of the Frank Bridge Suite for string orchestra, which I highly recommend listening to. It is very melancholy but has brighter and darker parts, and since I just finished romancing Solas in Dragon Age I found it appropriate for the situation. I might also be a bit vindictive about him leaving my inquisitor, and writing about him being sad is strangely therapeutic.


End file.
